Mastering Immersion: Author Kimberley Griffiths Little Unveils the Power of Deep Point of View

Albuquerque, NM – In the competitive landscape of publishing, authors across all genres, from heart-wrenching romance to intricate historical fiction and gripping mysteries, share a singular, paramount objective: forging a profound, personal connection between their characters and their readers. This elusive bond, the very essence of compelling storytelling, was the central focus of a recent workshop presented by acclaimed author Kimberley Griffiths Little. Titled "Close Third Person or Deep Point of View, DPOV," the session, held at a regional meeting of the New Mexico Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI), offered invaluable insights into a technique that can elevate a narrative from merely being read to being experienced.

Kimberley Griffiths Little, a prolific author known for her engaging Young Adult novels such as Forbidden and Banished, and her Middle Grade works like When the Butterflies Came and The Time of the Fireflies, possesses a deep understanding of reader engagement. Additionally, writing as Kimberley Montpetit, she has explored the self-publishing realm with titles like The Executive’s Secret and Unbreak My Heart. Her expertise, honed through years of crafting stories that resonate, was on full display as she guided attendees through the nuances of Deep Point of View (DPOV).

The Core of Immersion: Understanding Deep Point of View

At its heart, Kimberley explained, DPOV is about capturing the essence of a main character from the "inside out." It’s about presenting the world not as an objective observer sees it, but as the character knows, sees, hears, feels, and experiences it, filtered through their unique perspective and understanding. This approach moves beyond simply describing events to embodying them, creating an immersive reading experience that allows readers to truly inhabit the character’s skin. "In DPOV, we see more of who the character is," Kimberley emphasized, highlighting that this technique is not just a stylistic choice but a powerful tool for character revelation.

Furthermore, she posited that mastering DPOV is intrinsically linked to discovering and refining a writer’s most prized asset: "THE VOICE." The unique cadence, perspective, and emotional resonance that define an author’s distinct narrative style are often amplified and solidified through the consistent application of DPOV.

Exorcising the Narrator: A Crucial First Step

A significant hurdle for many writers, as Kimberley illustrated with a personal anecdote, is the persistent presence of an intrusive narrator. She recounted receiving early feedback on her first book where a beta reader, with stark clarity, advised, "GET RID OF THE NARRATOR! Then send it back to me." This stark directive underscored a common challenge: the tendency to tell the story rather than show it, often through an authorial voice that distances the reader.

Kimberley acknowledged that banishing the narrator and achieving the "show, don’t tell" ideal requires considerable practice and experience. Even experienced authors, she noted, find that the "telling" voice and the "narrator" can creep back in during later revision stages, necessitating a vigilant approach. To illustrate the difference, she provided examples:

Narrator: "She wished she could whisk back in time and redo the last few minutes."
Without the Narrator (DPOV): "Too bad life didn’t come with an undo button."
Narrator: "He had to think hard about what to do next."
Without the Narrator (DPOV): "What should he do next?"

These examples demonstrate a shift from an external observation of a character’s internal state to a more direct, internal experience of their thoughts and desires. The latter, by its very nature, draws the reader closer, fostering a more intimate connection.

DPOV in Action: Bringing the Character to Life

The workshop then delved into practical applications of DPOV, with Kimberley encouraging writers to "become your character. Live inside your character’s mind and heart. Immerse yourself by staying in your character’s point of view. Take your reader on a journey through your character’s experiences."

She provided a series of "shallow" versus "deep" examples to showcase the transformative power of DPOV:

Shallow: "Desiree’s skin prickled with pleasant excitement."
Deep (DPOV): "Shadows loomed. The place reeked of ancient secrets. Desiree’s skin prickled."

In the "deep" example, the sensory details and the inherent unease of the setting are conveyed as Desiree experiences them, making her reaction more visceral and believable.

Another illustration highlighted the importance of direct experience over reported observation:

Shallow: "He could see the tip of the dog’s nose peeking out of the closet."
Deep (DPOV): "Barry stepped through the door and entered the room. ‘Aha! There you are!’ The tip of the dog’s nose peeked out of the closet."

Here, Barry’s action and dialogue precede the observation, grounding the reader in his immediate experience and bringing the scene to life with his agency.

A critical point of clarification from Kimberley was that DPOV should not be conveyed through italics. While italics can be used to denote direct thoughts, their overuse, she argued, can pull the reader out of the immersive DPOV experience. She offered a compelling comparison:

With Italics: "Jane looked out the window. Wow! Look at that sunshine and dew sparkling on the roses. What a perfect day for gardening. I’d better go get my tools. She went to the garage and scanned her shelves. Now where did I put my gloves and trowel?"
Without Italics (DPOV): "Jane looked out the window. The dew on the roses sparkled in the morning sunlight. Wow! Would there ever be a better day for gardening? Humming, she hurried into the garage. Her gaze searched the wooden shelves. Where had she stored her gloves and trowel?"

The italicized version creates a clear separation between Jane’s internal monologue and the narrative, whereas the non-italicized version seamlessly integrates her thoughts and feelings into the ongoing action, enhancing the sense of immediacy and personal connection.

Navigating the Pitfalls: Avoiding Narrative Distance

Kimberley identified a specific category of words that often create "narrative distance" and should be approached with caution. She termed these "pitfall words" and urged writers to conduct searches for them within their manuscripts. These include verbs like think, know, feel, realized, caused, made. Instead of relying on these reporting verbs, writers are encouraged to focus on the present moment and engage the reader’s senses: touch, taste, smell, sight, sound, and the physical manifestations of emotions.

The workshop provided a more comprehensive list of "word no-nos" that can inadvertently create distance:

Reporting Verbs: Saw, considered, made, caused
Internal State Verbs (often used passively): She felt, watched, thought, realized, wished, decided, wondered
Prepositional Tells: Using phrases like "with," "of," or "in" in a way that describes rather than embodies an experience.
The "IT" Trap: Substituting the vague pronoun "it" for specific nouns and descriptions weakens the narrative’s dynamism and immediacy.

The overarching advice was to choose "power words" that evoke stronger imagery and direct experience.

Workshop Takeaways: Practical Strategies for Deeper Connection

Kimberley Griffiths Little concluded her workshop by offering a platter of actionable advice and practical tips for writers striving to implement DPOV effectively:

Minimize "to be" verbs: Overreliance on forms of "to be" (is, am, are, was, were) can lead to passive and less engaging prose. Opt for stronger, more active verbs.
Write the scene, don’t summarize: Instead of telling the reader what happened, immerse them in the unfolding events.
Share from the inside out: Prioritize the character’s internal experience over an external "watcher’s" perspective.
Research physiological reactions: Understand how emotions manifest physically in the body to create authentic and relatable character responses.
Write moment-to-moment: Capture the immediacy of the present, focusing on the continuous flow of experience.
Break up long descriptions: Interweave descriptive passages with action or internal dialogue to maintain reader engagement. Similarly, intersperse internal dialogue with physical actions.
Show, don’t name the feeling: Rather than stating "she was sad," describe the physical sensations, thoughts, and actions that convey sadness. Ask yourself: "How would my character actually react to this emotion?"
Recognize the need for distance: While DPOV is powerful, acknowledge that there are instances, such as a character reflecting with friends or sharing broader insights, where a slight narrative distance can be appropriate and even necessary for reader relaxation and comprehension.

The session provided a comprehensive framework for understanding and implementing Deep Point of View, empowering writers to move beyond mere storytelling and craft truly immersive narratives that resonate deeply with their audiences.

About the Author:

Kimberley Griffiths Little is a celebrated author of Young Adult and Middle Grade novels. Her works, including Forbidden, Banished, When the Butterflies Came, and The Time of the Fireflies, have garnered critical acclaim for their compelling characters and engaging storytelling. Under the name Kimberley Montpetit, she has also published several self-help and romance novels.

Learn more about Kimberley Griffiths Little at: https://www.kimberlygriffithslittle.com

About the Contributor:

Linda Wilson is an author whose latest release, Secret in the Mist, is the second book in the Abi Wunder trilogy. Her award-winning book Botas Altas (the Spanish version of Tall Boots) and Cuna en la Naturaleza (the Spanish version of Cradle in the Wild) highlight her dedication to diverse storytelling. Upcoming releases include The Pur-r-rfect Costume and A Home Run Friendship.