Mastering Immersive Storytelling: A Deep Dive into Deep Point of View with Kimberley Griffiths Little

Albuquerque, NM – In the competitive landscape of authorship, the ability to forge an indelible connection between a reader and a fictional character is paramount. Whether crafting sweeping historical epics, heart-pounding thrillers, or tender romances, writers constantly seek that elusive "voice" that pulls readers into the very soul of their protagonists. A recent workshop, led by acclaimed Young Adult and Middle Grade author Kimberley Griffiths Little, offered invaluable insights into achieving this deep connection through the technique of Deep Point of View (DPOV).

The workshop, titled "Close Third Person or Deep Point of View, DPOV," was presented at a New Mexico Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) Regional event. Kimberley Griffiths Little, a prolific author with a distinguished bibliography including YA novels like Forbidden and Banished, and Middle Grade works such as When the Butterflies Came and The Time of the Fireflies, shared her expertise. Under the pseudonym Kimberley Montpetit, she has also independently published a range of novels, demonstrating a broad understanding of the publishing world.

The core of Little’s presentation revolved around the definition and application of DPOV, a narrative technique designed to immerse the reader so completely in a character’s experience that they perceive the world through that character’s unique lens. "DPOV captures your main character from the inside out," Little explained. "What they know, see, hear, feel, and experience is filtered through their world. DPOV creates an immersive reading experience. In DPOV, we see more of who the character is." This intimate perspective, she emphasized, is a crucial step towards discovering and owning "THE VOICE" – a writer’s most prized asset.

The Imperative of Eliminating the Narrator

A significant hurdle for many writers, as highlighted by Little and echoed in personal anecdotes, is the pervasive presence of an external narrator. The urge to explain, to interpret, or to provide information that the character themselves might not yet grasp can create a distance between the reader and the narrative. Little recounted a particularly impactful experience with an early draft of her first book, where a beta reader’s stark feedback was to "GET RID OF THE NARRATOR!" This feedback, while initially daunting, proved to be a pivotal moment in her writing journey.

"I think all authors would agree that finding that voice, showing and not telling the story, and nixing the narrator takes practice and experience," Little stated. She further noted that even seasoned writers often find "telling" and the "narrator" creeping back into their work during later revision stages, requiring diligent effort to banish them.

To illustrate this point, Little provided clear examples of the difference between narrative intrusion and the direct experience of the character:

Narrator: "She wished she could whisk back in time and redo the last few minutes."
Without the Narrator (DPOV): "Too bad life didn’t come with an undo button."

Similarly:

Narrator: "He had to think hard about what to do next."
Without the Narrator (DPOV): "What should he do next?"

These simple shifts demonstrate how removing the authorial voice and placing the reader directly into the character’s internal monologue or immediate reactions can dramatically enhance engagement.

DPOV in Action: From Shallow to Profound Immersion

The workshop delved into practical applications of DPOV, urging writers to embody their characters fully. "Become your character," Little advised. "Live inside your character’s mind and heart. Immerse yourself by staying in your character’s point of view. Take your reader on a journey through your character’s experiences."

Little provided compelling examples of how to transform shallow descriptions into deeply immersive scenes:

Example 1: Creating Atmosphere and Character Reaction

Shallow: "Desiree’s skin prickled with pleasant excitement."
Deep (DPOV): "Shadows loomed. The place reeked of ancient secrets. Desiree’s skin prickled."

In the "Deep" version, the sensory details ("shadows loomed," "reeked of ancient secrets") are presented as perceived by Desiree, and her physical reaction ("skin prickled") is placed in immediate context, making the reader feel the unease alongside her.

Example 2: Enhancing Dialogue and Discovery

Shallow: "He could see the tip of the dog’s nose peeking out of the closet."
Deep (DPOV): "Barry stepped through the door and entered the room. ‘Aha! There you are!’ The tip of the dog’s nose peeked out of the closet."

Here, the action and dialogue are delivered as Barry experiences them, leading directly to the visual discovery. The reader is present with Barry as he finds the dog.

A crucial point addressed by Little was the use of italics for internal thoughts. She asserted that italicizing thoughts can actually pull the reader out of DPOV. Instead, internal thoughts should be seamlessly woven into the narrative flow, appearing as natural as external observations.

Example: Seamless Internal Thought

With italics: "Jane looked out the window. Wow! Look at that sunshine and dew sparkling on the roses. What a perfect day for gardening. I’d better go get my tools. She went to the garage and scanned her shelves. Now where did I put my gloves and trowel?"
Without italics (DPOV): "Jane looked out the window. The dew on the roses sparkled in the morning sunlight. Wow! Would there ever be a better day for gardening? Humming, she hurried into the garage. Her gaze searched the wooden shelves. Where had she stored her gloves and trowel?"

The italic-free version integrates Jane’s thoughts and motivations directly into the narrative, creating a smoother, more immersive experience. The "Wow!" and the rhetorical question are presented as Jane’s immediate reactions, followed by her actions.

Avoiding "Pitfall Words" and Narrative Distance

Little identified several categories of "pitfall words" that can inadvertently create narrative distance and weaken the DPOV. These are words that tend to tell rather than show, or that imply an external observer’s perspective. Writers were encouraged to perform manuscript searches for these terms and to rephrase sentences to reflect the character’s direct experience.

Key "Pitfall Words" to Avoid:

Cognitive Verbs: Think, Know, Feel, Realized, Considered, Decided, Wondered, Believed, Understood. Instead, focus on sensory details and immediate actions that demonstrate these internal states. For instance, instead of "She felt sad," describe the physical manifestations of sadness: "Her shoulders slumped, and a lump formed in her throat."
Causality and Creation Verbs: Caused, Made. These often imply an external force or observation.
Perception Verbs: Saw, Watched. While sometimes necessary, overuse can make the character seem like a passive observer.
Prepositional Phrases that Create Distance: With, Of, In. These can sometimes be used to create a more detached narrative voice.
The "IT" Trap: Substituting the vague pronoun "it" for specific nouns and descriptions weakens the narrative’s dynamism.

Instead of relying on these words, writers are urged to focus on the immediacy of the senses (Touch, Taste, Smell, Sight, Sound) and the present moment ("NOW") of the character’s experience.

Workshop Tips: A Comprehensive Guide to DPOV Mastery

Kimberley Griffiths Little provided a rich array of practical tips and strategies for writers to refine their use of DPOV. These actionable insights are designed to help authors move beyond telling and towards truly showing their stories through the eyes of their characters.

Key Strategies for Deep Point of View:

Eliminate Overuse of "To Be" Verbs: While essential, excessive use of "is," "am," "are," "was," "were" can lead to passive sentence structures. Opt for stronger, more active verbs.
Write the Scene, Don’t Summarize: Instead of telling the reader what happened, immerse them in the actual moments of the scene.
Share from the Inside Out: Continuously ask: What is my character experiencing internally? What are their immediate thoughts and feelings? Avoid the detached perspective of an external observer.
Research Physiological Reactions: Understand how emotions manifest physically. A character experiencing fear might have a racing heart, trembling hands, or a dry mouth. Describing these physical responses is more powerful than simply stating the emotion.
Write Moment-to-Moment: Break down actions and experiences into their smallest, most immediate components. This creates a sense of real-time immersion.
Integrate Action with Description and Internal Dialogue: Avoid long blocks of exposition. Break up descriptive passages with character actions. Similarly, intersperse internal thoughts with immediate reactions or physical movements to keep the narrative dynamic.
Show, Don’t Name Emotions: Instead of saying "She was angry," describe her clenched fists, her narrowed eyes, the heat rising in her cheeks, or the sharp words she almost uttered.
Understand When to Step Back: While DPOV is powerful, there are instances where a slightly more distanced perspective is appropriate. For example, moments of reflection or a character recounting events to a friend might benefit from a less intense viewpoint. The key is to use these shifts intentionally and effectively.

Author Spotlight: Kimberley Griffiths Little and Linda Wilson

The workshop itself was a testament to the vibrant literary community in New Mexico. Linda Wilson, the author of the article, is herself a published author with a growing list of works. Her latest release, Secret in the Mist, is the second book in the Abi Wunder trilogy. She has also seen success with the Spanish translations of her books, Botas Altas and Cuna en la Naturaleza. Upcoming releases include the bilingual picture book The Pur-r-rfect Costume and the middle grade novel A Home Run Friendship.

The photograph accompanying the article, taken by Linda Wilson from her backyard, subtly underscores the theme of personal perspective and connection to one’s environment, a sentiment that resonates with the principles of DPOV.

The Lasting Impact of Deep Point of View

Kimberley Griffiths Little’s workshop provided a comprehensive and practical guide to mastering Deep Point of View. By encouraging writers to shed the external narrator, to inhabit their characters’ inner worlds, and to meticulously craft sensory experiences, she offered a clear path towards creating truly immersive and unforgettable stories. The techniques discussed are not merely stylistic choices; they are fundamental tools for forging a profound and lasting connection between author, character, and reader. For any writer aspiring to captivate their audience, understanding and implementing DPOV is an essential step towards achieving literary excellence.

For those interested in learning more about Kimberley Griffiths Little’s work and approach to writing, her website is available at https://www.kimberlygriffithslittle.com.