Mastering the Art of Reader Immersion: A Deep Dive into Deep Point of View with Kimberley Griffiths Little

Albuquerque, NM – In the competitive landscape of modern literature, captivating readers and forging an unbreakable bond between character and audience is paramount. Authors across all genres, from sweeping historical epics to nail-biting thrillers, constantly strive to achieve this intimate connection. To illuminate the techniques behind this vital aspect of storytelling, acclaimed Young Adult and Middle Grade author Kimberley Griffiths Little recently led an insightful workshop titled "Close Third Person or Deep Point of View, DPOV," hosted by the New Mexico Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) as a regional event.

Little, a prolific author with a string of successful Young Adult novels such as Forbidden and Banished, and beloved Middle Grade titles including When the Butterflies Came and The Time of the Fireflies, also boasts a significant self-published catalog under her name, Kimberley Montpetit. Her expertise, honed through years of crafting compelling narratives, was on full display as she demystified the concept of Deep Point of View (DPOV), a narrative technique that promises to elevate reader engagement to unprecedented levels.

The Core of DPOV: Unlocking the Character’s Inner World

At its heart, Kimberley Griffiths Little explained, DPOV is about embodying the character completely. It’s not merely observing them from a distance, but rather experiencing the story through their unique lens – their thoughts, sensations, perceptions, and emotional landscape. "It’s capturing your main character from the inside out," Little articulated. "What she ‘knows, sees, hears, feels, experiences’ – all filtered through her world." This immersive approach, she emphasized, allows readers to truly understand who the character is, fostering a profound sense of connection and empathy. The ultimate prize for a writer, Little suggested, is that DPOV is the most potent pathway to discovering and solidifying "THE VOICE" – that distinctive and unforgettable narrative style that defines an author’s work.

Eliminating the Narrative Distance: Banishing the Omniscient Observer

A recurring theme in the workshop, and indeed a common struggle for many writers, is the presence of an intrusive narrator. Little recounted a formative experience with an early draft of her first book, where a beta reader’s stark feedback was to "GET RID OF THE NARRATOR!" This blunt assessment, while initially daunting, highlighted a critical flaw: an overt narrator can erect a barrier between the reader and the character’s authentic experience.

Little stressed that the journey of "showing, not telling" and effectively eliminating the narrator requires diligent practice and experience. Even seasoned authors, she noted, often find these narrative intrusions creeping back in during later revision stages, necessitating their removal. The workshop provided clear examples of this distinction:

• Narrator: "She wished she could whisk back in time and redo the last few minutes."
• Without the Narrator (DPOV): "Too bad life didn’t come with an undo button."

Similarly, the shift from a telling statement to an immersive experience was illustrated:

• Narrator: "He had to think hard about what to do next."
• Without the Narrator (DPOV): "What should he do next?"

These seemingly small changes, Little explained, are monumental in their impact, immediately drawing the reader deeper into the character’s immediate thoughts and predicament.

DPOV in Action: From Shallow Observation to Profound Immersion

The practical application of DPOV was a central focus of the workshop. Little urged attendees to actively "become your character," to "live inside your character’s mind and heart," and to immerse themselves by steadfastly maintaining the character’s point of view. This journey, she advised, should be taken with the reader, experiencing events through the character’s unfolding journey.

Illustrative examples showcased the transformative power of DPOV:

• Shallow Observation: "Desiree’s skin prickled with pleasant excitement."
• Deep Immersion (DPOV): "Shadows loomed. The place reeked of ancient secrets. Desiree’s skin prickled."

The second example, Little elaborated, immediately injects sensory details and a sense of foreboding, grounding the reader in Desiree’s visceral reaction and the atmosphere she’s perceiving.

Another compelling comparison demonstrated the shift from an external observation to an internal experience:

• Shallow Observation: "He could see the tip of the dog’s nose peeking out of the closet."
• Deep Immersion (DPOV): "Barry stepped through the door and entered the room. ‘Aha! There you are!’ The tip of the dog’s nose peeked out of the closet."

Here, the inclusion of dialogue and the character’s action preceding the observation places the reader directly in Barry’s moment of discovery, making the scene far more dynamic and engaging.

A crucial point of clarification regarding DPOV was its distinction from the use of italics for internal thoughts. Little firmly stated that italicizing thoughts can, paradoxically, pull the reader out of DPOV. Instead, the goal is to integrate thoughts seamlessly into the narrative flow.

• With italics (less immersive): "Jane looked out the window. Wow! Look at that sunshine and dew sparkling on the roses. What a perfect day for gardening. I’d better go get my tools. She went to the garage and scanned her shelves. Now where did I put my gloves and trowel?"
• Without italics (DPOV): "Jane looked out the window. The dew on the roses sparkled in the morning sunlight. Wow! Would there ever be a better day for gardening? Humming, she hurried into the garage. Her gaze searched the wooden shelves. Where had she stored her gloves and trowel?"

In the DPOV example, the internal exclamations and the immediate decision to act are woven into the narrative without explicit markers, creating a more natural and continuous experience for the reader.

Navigating the Pitfalls: Identifying and Eliminating "Pitfall Words"

To truly master DPOV, writers must be vigilant about certain linguistic habits that can inadvertently create narrative distance. Little identified these as "pitfall words," suggesting that authors conduct a thorough search within their manuscripts for terms like: think, know, feel, realized, caused, made.

Instead of stating what a character is thinking or feeling, the emphasis should shift to the present moment and the sensory details that evoke those internal states. Little encouraged writers to focus on the immediacy of touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound, along with the physical manifestations of emotions.

The workshop outlined specific "Word No-No’s" that can create narrative distance:

• Common Verbs: Saw, considered, made, caused
• "She felt" constructions: watched, thought, realized, wished, decided, wondered
• Prepositional tells: with, of, in (when used to describe internal states rather than direct action or possession)
• The "IT" Trap: The vagueness of "it" can dilute descriptive power. Substituting specific nouns and vivid descriptions is crucial.

The overarching advice was to choose "power words" that are active, descriptive, and grounded in the character’s immediate experience.

Workshop Tips Served Up on a Platter: Actionable Strategies for DPOV Mastery

Kimberley Griffiths Little concluded the workshop by offering a comprehensive list of actionable tips to help writers implement DPOV effectively:

• Minimize "to be" verbs: Overreliance on forms of "to be" (is, am, are, was, were) can lead to passive constructions. Opt for stronger, more dynamic verbs.
• Write the scene, don’t summarize: Instead of telling the reader that a character was sad, write the scene that shows their sadness through their actions, dialogue, and physical sensations.
• Share from the inside out: Continuously ask: "What is my character experiencing internally right now?"
• Research physiological reactions: Understand how emotions manifest physically. A character who is scared might have a racing heart, sweaty palms, or shallow breathing.
• Write moment-to-moment: Focus on the immediate sequence of events and perceptions, rather than jumping ahead or summarizing.
• Break up long descriptions with action: Interweave sensory details and internal reflections with the character’s movements and interactions to maintain reader engagement.
• Show, don’t name, the feeling: Instead of writing "She was angry," describe her clenched fists, the heat rising in her cheeks, or the sharp retort she bites back. Ask yourself: "How would my character actually react?"
• Strategic use of distance: While DPOV is powerful, Little acknowledged that there are instances where a slight narrative distance is necessary for the reader to relax, such as when a character is reflecting on past events or sharing a moment of casual conversation with friends.

By embracing the principles of Deep Point of View, writers can unlock a powerful tool for creating stories that resonate deeply with readers, forging an unforgettable connection that transcends the pages and lingers long after the final word.

For those interested in learning more about Kimberley Griffiths Little’s work and her insights into the craft of writing, her website can be found at https://www.kimberlygriffithslittle.com.

This article was contributed by Linda Wilson, who also provided the accompanying photograph from her backyard.