Mastering the Reader’s Connection: Unlocking Deep Point of View in Fiction

Albuquerque, NM – For authors across every genre, the ultimate goal is to forge an unbreakable bond between their characters and the reader. This intimate connection, often described as "voice," is the elusive prize that transforms a good story into an unforgettable experience. At a recent New Mexico Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) regional event, acclaimed Young Adult and Middle Grade author Kimberley Griffiths Little illuminated a powerful technique for achieving this literary intimacy: Deep Point of View (DPOV).

Griffiths Little, known for her evocative Young Adult novels like "Forbidden" and "Banished," and her engaging Middle Grade works such as "When the Butterflies Came" and "The Time of the Fireflies," shared her expertise on DPOV. Under her pseudonym Kimberley Montpetit, she has also explored the depths of self-publishing with titles like "The Executive’s Secret" and "Unbreak My Heart." Her workshop, aptly titled "Close Third Person or Deep Point of View, DPOV," delved into the nuances of this technique, emphasizing its ability to immerse readers directly into the character’s inner world.

"DPOV is about capturing your main character from the inside out," Griffiths Little explained to an attentive audience of writers and illustrators. "It’s what she knows, sees, hears, feels, experiences—all filtered through her unique worldview. This creates an incredibly immersive reading experience, allowing us to see more of who the character truly is." She posited that mastering DPOV is not just a stylistic choice, but a fundamental pathway to unlocking a writer’s most powerful asset: their character’s authentic voice.

The Crucial Step: Evicting the Omniscient Narrator

The journey to DPOV, Griffiths Little suggested, often begins with a radical act: the expulsion of the intrusive narrator. She recalled a pivotal moment early in her own writing career when a beta reader’s blunt feedback on a manuscript declared, in no uncertain terms, "GET RID OF THE NARRATOR! Then send it back to me." This stark directive, while initially jarring, proved to be a catalyst for profound revision.

"I think all authors would agree that finding that voice, showing and not telling the story, and nixing the narrator takes practice and experience," Griffiths Little remarked. She shared that even seasoned writers often find "telling" and "narrator" tendencies creeping back into their work during later revision stages, necessitating vigilant pruning.

The workshop provided concrete examples to illustrate the difference between a narrative voice that stands between the reader and the character, and a truly internalized perspective.

Illustrative Examples:

Narrator: "She wished she could whisk back in time and redo the last few minutes."
Without the Narrator (DPOV): "Too bad life didn’t come with an undo button."
Narrator: "He had to think hard about what to do next."
Without the Narrator (DPOV): "What should he do next?"

These simple shifts, Griffiths Little emphasized, move the reader from an external observation to an internal contemplation, fostering a deeper sense of empathy and identification.

The Mechanics of Immersion: Living Inside the Character

Griffiths Little’s core message for achieving DPOV was clear: "Become your character. Live inside your character’s mind and heart. Immerse yourself by staying in your character’s point of view. Take your reader on a journey through your character’s experiences." This requires a conscious effort to inhabit the character’s sensory perceptions, emotional responses, and internal thought processes.

The workshop presented compelling "before and after" examples demonstrating the transformative power of DPOV:

Example 1: Evoking Atmosphere and Emotion

Shallow Perspective: "Desiree’s skin prickled with pleasant excitement."
Deep Point of View (DPOV): "Shadows loomed. The place reeked of ancient secrets. Desiree’s skin prickled."

In the DPOV example, the reader experiences the environment and the character’s reaction simultaneously. The "looming shadows" and the "reek of ancient secrets" are not just described; they are perceived and felt by Desiree, making the atmosphere palpable and her reaction more visceral.

Example 2: Enhancing Action and Discovery

Shallow Perspective: "He could see the tip of the dog’s nose peeking out of the closet."
Deep Point of View (DPOV): "Barry stepped through the door and entered the room. ‘Aha! There you are!’ The tip of the dog’s nose peeked out of the closet."

Here, the DPOV adds an active element. Barry’s actions and dialogue precede the observation, placing the reader directly into the moment of discovery with him. The reader doesn’t just see the dog’s nose; they witness Barry’s search and his triumphant exclamation.

A key point of clarification from Griffiths Little was that DPOV should not rely on italics for internal thoughts. While italics can be a useful tool for indicating direct internal monologue, they can, in fact, create a subtle distance between the reader and the character, pulling them out of the deep immersion.

Example: DPOV without Italics

With Italics (less immersive):
"Jane looked out the window. Wow! Look at that sunshine and dew sparkling on the roses. What a perfect day for gardening. I’d better go get my tools. She went to the garage and scanned her shelves. Now where did I put my gloves and trowel?"
Without Italics (more immersive DPOV):
"Jane looked out the window. The dew on the roses sparkled in the morning sunlight. Wow! Would there ever be a better day for gardening? Humming, she hurried into the garage. Her gaze searched the wooden shelves. Where had she stored her gloves and trowel?"

By integrating Jane’s thoughts seamlessly into the narrative flow and using her internal questions to drive the action, the DPOV version creates a more fluid and intimate reading experience. The reader is privy to Jane’s immediate thoughts and motivations without the visual cue of italics acting as a barrier.

Navigating the Pitfalls: Words to Avoid and Techniques to Embrace

Griffiths Little provided a practical guide for writers looking to refine their DPOV technique, highlighting "pitfall words" that can inadvertently create narrative distance. These words, often used to describe a character’s internal state, can be replaced with more dynamic and sensory-driven language.

Key "Pitfall Words" and Strategies:

Avoid: Think, Know, Feel, Realized, Caused, Made.
Embrace: Focus instead on the five senses (Touch, Taste, Smell, Sight, Sound) and the immediate, moment-to-moment action in the "NOW."

Specific Word No-Nos that Create Narrative Distance:

Verbs of Perception and Cognition: Saw, considered, watched, thought, realized, wished, decided, wondered.
- Instead: Show the character’s perception through their sensory input and internal reactions. For example, instead of "She saw the car," try "The gleam of chrome caught her eye," or "The roar of the engine vibrated through the floorboards."
Prepositional Tells: With, of, in. While these are essential grammatical components, overreliance can lead to passive descriptions.
- Instead: Look for active verbs and more direct phrasing.
The "IT" Trap: The pronoun "it" is often vague and can lead to a lack of specificity.
- Instead: Identify what "it" refers to and use specific nouns and descriptive language to paint a clearer picture. For instance, instead of "It was cold," try "A biting wind whipped around her, chilling her to the bone."
Choose Power Words: Opt for strong, evocative verbs and precise nouns that convey meaning with impact.

Workshop Wisdom: Practical Tips for Deep Immersion

Griffiths Little concluded her workshop with a platter of actionable advice, distilled from her extensive experience as a published author. These tips serve as a roadmap for writers striving to master DPOV and enhance their storytelling.

Key Takeaways for Writers:

Minimize "To Be" Verbs: Overuse of forms of "to be" (is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been) can lead to passive and less engaging prose. Strive for active, dynamic verbs.
Write the Scene, Don’t Summarize: Instead of telling the reader what happened, immerse them in the unfolding action and dialogue of the scene.
Share from the Inside Out: Continuously ask yourself: "What is my character experiencing internally right now?" This is the essence of DPOV, rather than a detached "watcher’s" perspective.
Research Physiological Reactions: Understanding how emotions manifest physically in the body (e.g., a racing heart, clenched fists, a knot in the stomach) can add authentic depth to your character’s reactions.
Write Moment-to-Moment: Focus on the immediate sensory input and emotional responses of your character, building the narrative in a continuous stream of consciousness.
Break Up Long Descriptions: Interweave descriptive passages with action or internal dialogue to maintain reader engagement and prevent the prose from becoming static.
Show, Don’t Name Feelings: Instead of stating "She was sad," describe the physical manifestations of her sadness: "Tears welled in her eyes," or "A heavy weight settled in her chest." Ask yourself how your character would physically react to a particular emotion.
Strategic Use of Distance: While DPOV is powerful, acknowledge that there are instances where a slightly more distant perspective is beneficial. For example, when a character is reflecting or engaging in casual conversation with friends, a less intense DPOV might allow the reader to relax and process information.

By internalizing these principles and practicing them diligently, writers can unlock the profound power of Deep Point of View, creating characters that resonate deeply with readers and stories that linger long after the final page is turned.

Learn more about Kimberley Griffiths Little and her work at: https://www.kimberlygriffithslittle.com

Photo Credit: Linda Wilson (from her backyard)

Linda Wilson is an accomplished author with a prolific career spanning children’s literature and beyond. Her latest release, "Secret in the Mist," is the second installment in the Abi Wunder trilogy, published in December 2025. She is also the author of the award-winning "Botas Altas" (the Spanish version of "Tall Boots") and "Cuna en la Naturaleza" (the Spanish version of "Cradle in the Wild"). Forthcoming releases include the bilingual picture book "The Pur-r-rfect Costume" and the middle-grade novel "A Home Run Friendship."