Mastering Reader Connection: Author Kimberley Griffiths Little Unveils the Power of Deep Point of View

Albuquerque, NM – In the intricate dance of storytelling, forging an unbreakable bond between a character and the reader is paramount, regardless of genre. Whether crafting sweeping romances, compelling historical sagas, or gripping mysteries, authors consistently strive for this intimate connection. To illuminate this critical aspect of writing, acclaimed author Kimberley Griffiths Little recently led a transformative workshop titled "Close Third Person or Deep Point of View, DPOV," at a New Mexico Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) regional event. Little, a prolific writer known for her engaging Young Adult novels such as Forbidden and Banished, and her Middle Grade works like When the Butterflies Came and The Time of the Fireflies, also writes under the name Kimberley Montpetit, with self-published successes including The Executive’s Secret and Unbreak My Heart.

This insightful session, meticulously documented by contributor Linda Wilson, delved into the nuanced art of Deep Point of View (DPOV), a technique that promises to elevate reader immersion and unlock the elusive "voice" that defines a writer’s unique style.

The Essence of Deep Point of View: An Inside-Out Approach

At its core, DPOV, as explained by Little, is about embodying the character so completely that the narrative flows from their internal world. It’s about capturing what the character "knows, sees, hears, feels, and experiences," all filtered through their individual perception. This immersive approach moves beyond mere observation, allowing readers to step directly into the character’s shoes, experiencing the story through their senses and emotions. "In DPOV," Little emphasized, "we see more of who the character is."

This heightened level of connection is not just a stylistic choice; it is, in essence, the author’s most coveted prize. For writers, achieving DPOV is synonymous with discovering and refining their authentic narrative voice, a crucial element that distinguishes their work and resonates deeply with their audience.

Deconstructing the Narrator: A Crucial First Step

A significant hurdle for many writers, as highlighted by Little’s own experience and that of her workshop attendees, is the insidious presence of an overt narrator. Linda Wilson shared a poignant anecdote about receiving early feedback on her first book: a beta reader’s stark instruction, "GET RID OF THE NARRATOR! Then send it back to me." This blunt critique underscores a common challenge – the temptation to explain, interpret, or overtly guide the reader, which inadvertently creates distance.

Little explained that the journey to DPOV necessitates the "booting out" of this intrusive narrator. This involves a conscious effort to shift from telling the reader what a character is thinking or feeling, to showing it through their actions, internal reactions, and sensory experiences. "I think all authors would agree that finding that voice, showing and not telling the story, and nixing the narrator takes practice and experience," Wilson noted, echoing the sentiment of many seasoned writers. Even in later stages of revision, the "telling" and "narrator" tendencies can resurface, demanding vigilant pruning.

The workshop provided concrete examples to illustrate this distinction:

Narrator: She wished she could whisk back in time and redo the last few minutes.
Without the Narrator: Too bad life didn’t come with an undo button.
Narrator: He had to think hard about what to do next.
Without: What should he do next?

These simple shifts demonstrate how removing the authorial voice and allowing the character’s internal monologue or immediate reaction to surface creates a more immediate and engaging experience.

DPOV in Action: Transforming Narrative Immersion

The practical application of DPOV was a central focus of the workshop. Little urged writers to "become your character. Live inside your character’s mind and heart. Immerse yourself by staying in your character’s point of view. Take your reader on a journey through your character’s experiences." This internal immersion is achieved by focusing on sensory details and immediate emotional responses, rather than external pronouncements.

The workshop provided compelling before-and-after examples:

Shallow: Desiree’s skin prickled with pleasant excitement.
Deep: Shadows loomed. The place reeked of ancient secrets. Desiree’s skin prickled.

In the "Deep" example, the added sensory details – the looming shadows and the smell of ancient secrets – directly inform Desiree’s prickling skin, making the reaction more visceral and contextualized.

Another example illustrated the subtle yet powerful shift:

Shallow: He could see the tip of the dog’s nose peeking out of the closet.
Deep: Barry stepped through the door and entered the room. “Aha! There you are!” The tip of the dog’s nose peeked out of the closet.

Here, the addition of Barry’s action and dialogue transforms a simple observation into an active moment, drawing the reader into Barry’s experience of discovery.

A key point of clarification from Little was that DPOV should not be conveyed through italics. While italicized thoughts might seem like a natural way to access a character’s inner world, Little explained that this technique can actually pull the reader out of the deep immersion. Instead, the character’s thoughts and feelings should be seamlessly woven into the narrative.

Consider the difference:

With italics: Jane looked out the window. Wow! Look at that sunshine and dew sparkling on the roses. What a perfect day for gardening. I’d better go get my tools. She went to the garage and scanned her shelves. Now where did I put my gloves and trowel?
Without italics: Jane looked out the window. The dew on the roses sparkled in the morning sunlight. Wow! Would there ever be a better day for gardening? Humming, she hurried into the garage. Her gaze searched the wooden shelves. Where had she stored her gloves and trowel?

The latter example, devoid of italics, feels more fluid and integrated. The "Wow!" is presented as an exclamation, and the internal desire for gardening is conveyed through her subsequent actions.

Navigating the "Pitfalls": Words and Phrases to Avoid

To achieve true DPOV, authors must be acutely aware of certain "pitfall words" that create narrative distance. Little advised a manuscript search for words like "think," "know," "feel," "realized," "caused," and "made." Instead, she encouraged writers to focus on immediate sensory input and the play-by-play action of the "NOW": touch, taste, smell, sight, sound, and raw emotions.

Specific "word no-no’s" that create narrative distance include:

Verbs of perception and cognition: "Saw," "considered," "made," "caused."
"She felt" constructions: "watched," "thought," "realized," "wished," "decided," "wondered." These explicitly state the character’s internal state rather than showing it.
Prepositional tells: Phrases like "with," "of," "in" when used to describe a character’s state or perception can create a layer of separation.
The "IT" Trap: Vague pronouns like "it" can distance the reader. Substituting specific nouns and vivid descriptions makes the narrative far more dynamic.

The emphasis is on choosing "power words" that evoke immediate sensory experience and internal reaction, rather than merely reporting it.

Workshop Insights: Practical Tools for Deeper Immersion

The workshop concluded with a platter of actionable tips designed to help writers refine their DPOV technique:

Combat Overuse of "to be" verbs: These passive verbs often lead to telling rather than showing.
Write the Scene, Don’t Summarize: Instead of stating what happened, immerse the reader in the unfolding moments.
Share from the Inside Out: Prioritize the character’s internal experience over an external "watcher’s" perspective.
Research Physiological Reactions: Understand how emotions manifest physically to create authentic character responses.
Write Moment-to-Moment: Capture the continuous flow of experience, breaking down events into their constituent parts.
Integrate Action with Description and Dialogue: Break up lengthy descriptive passages or internal monologues with immediate actions or dialogue to maintain reader engagement.
Show, Don’t Name Feelings: Instead of stating "she was sad," describe the physical manifestations of sadness – slumped shoulders, a tightness in the chest, a blurring of vision. Ask, "How would this specific character react?"
Recognize When DPOV Isn’t Ideal: While DPOV is powerful, there are moments where a slight narrative distance can be beneficial, such as when a character is reflecting or sharing with friends. The reader may need a brief respite to process or connect on a different level.

Kimberley Griffiths Little’s workshop served as an invaluable guide for writers seeking to deepen their connection with readers. By understanding and implementing the principles of Deep Point of View, authors can unlock the full potential of their narratives, creating stories that are not just read, but truly experienced.

For those interested in learning more about Kimberley Griffiths Little’s work and her insights into the craft of writing, her website can be found at https://www.kimberlygriffithslittle.com.

Linda Wilson’s latest release, Secret in the Mist, the second book in the Abi Wunder trilogy, continues to captivate readers. Her other recent works include the award-winning Botas Altas (the Spanish version of Tall Boots) and Cuna en la Naturaleza (the Spanish version of Cradle in the Wild). Upcoming releases include the bilingual picture book The Pur-r-rfect Costume and the middle grade novel A Home Run Friendship.