Mastering the Art of Immersion: Author Kimberley Griffiths Little Demystifies Deep Point of View

Albuquerque, NM – In the ever-evolving landscape of literature, authors continuously seek innovative ways to forge indelible connections with their readers. Whether crafting tales of sweeping romance, intricate historical sagas, or pulse-pounding mysteries, the ultimate goal remains the same: to create a profound, personal bond between the protagonist and the audience. This pursuit of reader intimacy was the central theme of a highly illuminating workshop, "Close Third Person or Deep Point of View, DPOV," recently presented by acclaimed Young Adult and Middle Grade author Kimberley Griffiths Little. Hosted by the New Mexico Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) as part of its regional programming, the session delved into the nuances of a narrative technique that promises to elevate storytelling from mere observation to visceral experience.

Kimberley Griffiths Little, a prolific author whose Young Adult novels include the compelling Forbidden and Banished, and whose Middle Grade works like When the Butterflies Came and The Time of the Fireflies have captivated young readers, shared her expertise on the power of Deep Point of View (DPOV). Little also publishes under the name Kimberley Montpetit, with self-published works such as The Executive’s Secret and Unbreak My Heart demonstrating her versatility across genres. She described DPOV as a transformative approach to writing, one that necessitates a profound internalisation of the main character.

"DPOV is about capturing your main character from the inside out," Little explained. "It’s about filtering everything – what they know, what they see, what they hear, what they feel, and what they experience – through their unique worldview. This creates an incredibly immersive reading experience, allowing readers to truly understand who the character is on a deeper level." She further emphasized that mastering DPOV is not just a stylistic choice but a gateway to discovering a writer’s most prized possession: their authentic narrative voice.

The Crucial First Step: Banishing the Narrator

The workshop’s initial segment focused on a fundamental yet often challenging aspect of DPOV: the deliberate exclusion of an overt narrator. Little recounted a personal anecdote that underscored this point with stark clarity. Upon submitting an early draft of her first book to a beta reader, she received it back with remarkable speed and surprisingly few annotations. However, a single, emphatic directive in large, bold letters on the first page read: "GET RID OF THE NARRATOR! Then send it back to me."

This stark feedback, while initially jarring, propelled Little into a significant revision process. She acknowledged that this is a common hurdle for many authors, a sentiment echoed by fellow writers. The challenge lies in shifting from an observational stance to an internal one, a process that demands considerable practice and experience. Even seasoned authors, Little noted, often find themselves inadvertently slipping back into "telling" and allowing a distinct narrator to emerge, even in later stages of revision.

To illustrate the difference, Little provided concrete examples:

Narrator: "She wished she could whisk back in time and redo the last few minutes."
Without the Narrator (DPOV): "Too bad life didn’t come with an undo button."
Narrator: "He had to think hard about what to do next."
Without the Narrator (DPOV): "What should he do next?"

These examples highlight a critical distinction: the former frames an internal state as an observation, while the latter plunges the reader directly into the character’s thought process, mirroring their immediate internal query.

DPOV in Action: Immersing the Reader

The core of the workshop revolved around practical application, demonstrating how DPOV transforms a narrative from a detached account to a lived experience. Little’s central tenet for achieving this is to "become your character. Live inside your character’s mind and heart. Immerse yourself by staying in your character’s point of view. Take your reader on a journey through your character’s experiences."

She then presented compelling comparisons between shallow, observational writing and the deep immersion of DPOV:

Shallow: "Desiree’s skin prickled with pleasant excitement."
Deep (DPOV): "Shadows loomed. The place reeked of ancient secrets. Desiree’s skin prickled."

In the "Deep" example, the reader is immediately privy to Desiree’s sensory input and the context that fuels her physical reaction, rather than simply being told about the reaction itself.

Another example showcased the power of internalisation:

Shallow: "He could see the tip of the dog’s nose peeking out of the closet."
Deep (DPOV): "Barry stepped through the door and entered the room. ‘Aha! There you are!’ The tip of the dog’s nose peeked out of the closet."

Here, the action is framed through Barry’s perspective, including his spoken exclamation, which not only reveals his discovery but also his personality and emotional state.

A key point of clarification from Little was that DPOV should not be conveyed through italics. While italics are often used to denote internal thoughts, Little asserted that this practice pulls the reader out of the deep immersion that DPOV aims to create. She offered a stark contrast:

With italics: "Jane looked out the window. Wow! Look at that sunshine and dew sparkling on the roses. What a perfect day for gardening. I’d better go get my tools. She went to the garage and scanned her shelves. Now where did I put my gloves and trowel?"
Without italics (DPOV): "Jane looked out the window. The dew on the roses sparkled in the morning sunlight. Wow! Would there ever be a better day for gardening? Humming, she hurried into the garage. Her gaze searched the wooden shelves. Where had she stored her gloves and trowel?"

The italicized version creates a distinct separation between Jane’s internal thoughts and the external narration. The DPOV version seamlessly integrates Jane’s internal reactions and questions with her actions, making the reader feel as though they are experiencing the moment alongside her. The humming and the specific question about where she stored her tools further enrich the character’s immediate experience.

Navigating the "Pitfalls": Avoiding Narrative Distance

A significant portion of the workshop was dedicated to identifying and avoiding "pitfall words" – those linguistic cues that inadvertently create distance between the reader and the character. Little urged writers to conduct manuscript searches for terms that often signal an external narrator or a summary of internal states rather than a direct experience.

Key "pitfall words" and concepts to avoid include:

Thought Verbs: Think, Know, Feel, Realized, Caused, Made. These words often tell the reader what the character is experiencing rather than showing it through sensory details and immediate reactions.
"She Felt" Constructs: Words like "watched," "thought," "realized," "wished," "decided," and "wondered" can often be replaced with more active and immersive descriptions.
Prepositional Tells: Overreliance on prepositions like "with," "of," and "in" can create clunky phrasing and distance.
The "IT" Trap: Substituting "it" for specific nouns and descriptive details leads to vague and less dynamic prose.

Instead of relying on these distancing words, Little advised writers to focus on the immediacy of the senses and the play-by-play action occurring in the "NOW." This includes engaging touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound, as well as clearly depicting emotions through physical manifestations and immediate thoughts. The emphasis is on showing, not telling, by immersing the reader in the character’s sensory and emotional landscape.

Workshop Tips: A Platter of Craftsmanship

To further equip writers with the tools for DPOV mastery, Little presented a series of practical tips, effectively serving them "on a platter":

Beware of Overuse of "To Be" Verbs: While necessary, an overabundance of "is," "am," "are," "was," and "were" can lead to passive and less dynamic writing.
Don’t Summarize, Write the Scene: Resist the urge to condense events. Instead, immerse the reader in the unfolding moment.
Share from the Inside Out, Not a "Watcher’s" Perspective: Prioritize the character’s internal experience over an external observer’s viewpoint.
Research Physiological Reactions: Understanding how the body reacts to emotions can provide powerful, authentic details to convey feelings without explicitly naming them.
Write Moment-to-Moment: Break down scenes into their smallest constituent parts, allowing the reader to experience each beat as the character does.
Break Up Long Descriptions with Action: Interspersing descriptive passages with character actions prevents the narrative from becoming static and enhances engagement. Similarly, break up internal dialogue with action to maintain momentum.
Don’t Name the Feeling—Show It: Instead of stating "She was angry," describe the physical manifestations of anger: clenched fists, a racing heart, a flushed face, sharp words. Ask yourself: "How would my character physically react to this emotion?"
DPOV Isn’t for Every Moment: Little astutely noted that not every part of a narrative needs to be in DPOV. There are instances, such as a character reflecting or engaging in casual conversation with friends, where a slight shift in perspective or a more observational tone can provide necessary reader respite and allow for broader exposition.

The Author’s Journey and Continued Engagement

The workshop underscored the continuous learning process inherent in writing. The image of Little at a local book fair, as captured by herself, serves as a reminder of the author’s active engagement with the literary community and their readers. Her latest release, Secret in the Mist, the second installment in the Abi Wunder trilogy, highlights her ongoing commitment to children’s literature. Furthermore, her recent award-winning Spanish translations, Botas Altas and Cuna en la Naturaleza, demonstrate a dedication to making literature accessible across linguistic barriers. Upcoming releases, including the bilingual picture book The Pur-r-rfect Costume and the middle grade novel A Home Run Friendship, promise further contributions to the literary world.

The insights shared by Kimberley Griffiths Little during the SCBWI workshop offer a valuable roadmap for authors seeking to deepen their connection with readers. By embracing Deep Point of View, writers can unlock the power of authentic voice and create narratives that are not merely read, but truly felt.

For those interested in learning more about Kimberley Griffiths Little’s work and her approach to storytelling, her website can be found at https://www.kimberlygriffithslittle.com.